The Kitty Haunts
Newsflash: The world's all about money. I always know that, but somehow feel like I need it slammed into my face every now and then so I can lose the optimism that seems to conquer on occasion. It goes like this: "The world is a lovely place with good people!" then a bitchslap into reality. Thanks, world, I needed that. I imagine Morgan Freeman's voice answering, "You're welcome."
My big bro comes in last night and is using my computer to look up something. I'm talking about myself, my favorite topic, and completely consumed in what I'm talking about until I politely ask what he is doing.
Well apparently the Vicious Murder of An Innocent Kitty Case is back into action because the other guy involved (see crackhead-resembling mugshot #2 on the news) is being charged with a felony.
He decided to go into hiding over the weekend.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the cat killer is on the loose. Take your kitties inside and lock them up or they will be slaughtered like something from Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Find them and hide them before they are all gone and dogs shall rule the world!
The police have a warrant out, and I truly hope they are doing more productive things with their time than looking for Scott.
He didn't kill the president, a major world leader, or even Brian Spaulding. No, it was a cat that he went into hiding for.
By the way, where do people go when they go into hiding? Is there a cave in Indiana labeled as such? Bomb shelters? I bet they stay with friends, just so that they have someone to go to the movies with.
So I'm sitting there, as my brother looks concerned (my brother has one mode-chill-when he strays, I get worried) and I am thinking Wal-mart blows.
Really it blows.
I went there the other day for cereal. I am addicted to their animal crackers.
Can you tell me why the hell I still shop there? My brother was drug through nails for that corporation. My family was, really.
Because I'm all about money.
My lovely IGA boss, Larry gives speeches against Wal-mart, and doesn't shop there because he has beliefs and stands by them. They ruin stores- like Buy Low which claimed bankruptcy.
He isn't all about money.
You've heard of the big bad corporation, and we all still worship it.
I know I do.
Like Brian- I'm not picking on him because I'm obviously doing the same thing, but they didn't give him a job. I have no idea why because he is overqualified, but he still stopped there to spend money.
And why not? They are right on the way home, and it's so much cheaper. You can make all your dreams come true with one stop.
Yes, I'm complaining, and no, I'm not going to do anything about it. Too much trouble-I'm lazy.
I hate being bitchslapped.
My big bro comes in last night and is using my computer to look up something. I'm talking about myself, my favorite topic, and completely consumed in what I'm talking about until I politely ask what he is doing.
Well apparently the Vicious Murder of An Innocent Kitty Case is back into action because the other guy involved (see crackhead-resembling mugshot #2 on the news) is being charged with a felony.
He decided to go into hiding over the weekend.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the cat killer is on the loose. Take your kitties inside and lock them up or they will be slaughtered like something from Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Find them and hide them before they are all gone and dogs shall rule the world!
The police have a warrant out, and I truly hope they are doing more productive things with their time than looking for Scott.
He didn't kill the president, a major world leader, or even Brian Spaulding. No, it was a cat that he went into hiding for.
By the way, where do people go when they go into hiding? Is there a cave in Indiana labeled as such? Bomb shelters? I bet they stay with friends, just so that they have someone to go to the movies with.
So I'm sitting there, as my brother looks concerned (my brother has one mode-chill-when he strays, I get worried) and I am thinking Wal-mart blows.
Really it blows.
I went there the other day for cereal. I am addicted to their animal crackers.
Can you tell me why the hell I still shop there? My brother was drug through nails for that corporation. My family was, really.
Because I'm all about money.
My lovely IGA boss, Larry gives speeches against Wal-mart, and doesn't shop there because he has beliefs and stands by them. They ruin stores- like Buy Low which claimed bankruptcy.
He isn't all about money.
You've heard of the big bad corporation, and we all still worship it.
I know I do.
Like Brian- I'm not picking on him because I'm obviously doing the same thing, but they didn't give him a job. I have no idea why because he is overqualified, but he still stopped there to spend money.
And why not? They are right on the way home, and it's so much cheaper. You can make all your dreams come true with one stop.
Yes, I'm complaining, and no, I'm not going to do anything about it. Too much trouble-I'm lazy.
I hate being bitchslapped.
posted by Diane at 8:43 AM
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